My friends are getting soooo tired of hearing me talk about this thing, so if you’re one of my friends, you should probably just exit out of this browser tab before you want to strangle me. I know that it’s just a phone, but it’s my phone. And it’s a new phone. And it’s an awesome phone. And you should be happy that we found each other. Can’t you just be happy for me for once? Why is it always about you?

I’ve not only alienated myself from my family, friends, and menfolk. I’ve also been that weirdo talking about her phone to complete strangers who don’t say a darn thing to her about it.

Me: “So, I noticed you checking out my phone.”

Stranger: “Uhhh. No, I was just looking for change in my purse.”

Me: “Oh, well. Do you want to see it? It’s pretty amazing.”

Stranger: “Not really. I need to catch a bus.”

Me: “Come on. It’ll only take a minute.”

Stranger: “Get away from me weirdo.”

I might not be so great at making friends, but at least I gave that chick a story to tell. Plus, I gave her the opportunity to play with the most amazing phone on the face of the planet. What kind of weirdo would turn down that kind of opportunity? When someone grants you the permission to play with a cool phone, you miss the bus. Ammirite? Or ammirite?

Anywho, that never really happened. But I have been totally geeking out about this new phone. I’ve been throwing around the word phablet like it’s going out of style, which is completely ridiculous, because I’m super hip right now. The word phablet is just coming into fashion.

Okay, I might be going a little overboard with this whole thing, but just let me have it. It’s not all that often that I have the coolest gadget out of all of the people I know. Just let my geek out run its course. I’m sure it will be over soon.

So, do you geek out when you get a new gizmo?

I know that I’m a little late on this story, because Google released the info about a millennium ago… or two days ago… time is incredibly relative in the blogosphere, ask Einstein. So what does that mean for me? I don’t get to make comparison jokes about Lieutenant Commander Geordi La Forge’s VISOR and the Augmented Reality Specs (if you didn’t get that reference, I’m a little disappointed in you).  I didn’t get to title this post breaking news. And I don’t get to say things like “You heard it here first!”

What does it mean for you? You don’t have to hear another Geordi La Forge joke. And you get to relive the glory that was April 4th, 2012. You might have thought that day had passed, but here at Weekly Geekly, we believe in time both travel and old news. You’re welcome.

So they’re really doing their damndest to make these incredibly nerdy specs look cool. Google hired a bunch of hot models to try to create the brand image. But you know who’s going to be wearing these… The same duchebags who sport their Bluetooth ALL of the time. Only now, you won’t be wondering if the person next to you on the train is a murderous sociopath talking about his latest conquest, or a forensic science technician talking to his boss. Instead, you’ll be wondering if the person across from you is looking at Bukaki porn while they’re staring you down. The augmented reality specs are made for the multitasking creep, and you bet your boots that people are going to use these things for porn more than anything else.

What do you think of Googles new specs?

This not only effects the way we will be able to analyse pictures, it will help us look at our world in a way never before possible. Just how much we will be able to do with this camera is still being figured out, the future is very promising. Visit the cameras homepage for the company info about it, or visit this page for some examples of Lytro images, which you can play around with and get a good idea of how Lytro works, since it’s hard to describe and best when seen with your own eyes. Needless to say, this shiz is lovely.

You know, I was going to write an entire post about things that could be considered sad or funny, but I just realized that I was surrounded by homeless people. That’s definately not funny. It’s just a mixture of horrified depression and guilty shame. So, I’m having a hard time thinking about anything else that fit’s the “sad or funny” bill at this point.
Well, to lighten the mood a little bit, let’s talk about the BSG spinoff Caprica! That’s nerdy and it gives every BSG lover something to say. So, back to some geeky cheerfulness. I’ll just put blinders on when it comes to all of the depressing shiz that’s going down in this cafe.
When it comes to Caprica, I’ve gotten the vibe that the geek community is split on whether it’s fantastic or no good. I guess there are folks who love it and folks that hate it. I have to say that so far, I really don’t understand the folks in the latter group. To them, I say, “Say whaaaat?!” Caprica is awesome. I plan on spending a good deal of time catching up with it in the next couple of weeks.
Maybe it looses ground in the later episodes, but something makes me doubt it. I love how it takes the religious track that was underlying but never fully explored in BSG. It’s remeniscent of how Orson Scott Card deals with religion and morality in the Ender’s Game series, but focuses on tactical military strategy in the Ender’s Shadow series. Where Battle Star Galactica showed the action, Caprica is giving the inception. It’s like watching a baby being born, but less gross and with more robots.
I’d say, we should watch it together. Nerdy TV show night anyone? And don’t tell me that you have forensic psychology homework again. I know that’s not a real thing… or at least it doesn’t sound like it.
So, what do you think about Caprica? Sad or funny? How about that movie night?

Every time I see a picture like this and see a headline that says something about the above sea creature being dragged out of the ocean, I get a little bit terrified (Yeeah boi! I totally used that negating modifier to seem like less of a p*ssy). Seriously though, whenever I see these crazy things that come out of the ocean that look like sub-sized-lice, it makes it that much harder to get in past my knees when I’m enjoying a sunny day at the beach. Quit ruining my lovely beach trips dude whose nut sack pops out of his Speedo marine biologists.

If we didn’t know it existed until now, I really don’t want to know about it ever. It’s like friggin’ space down there. And I don’t want to know what’s up there either. Aliens are either going to want to kill us, or we’re going to have to learn another language. I can’t afford another f*cking Rosetta Stone. Seriously, if you can’t learn English then get off this planet.

Okay, maybe that comparison is a little weak. I’m sure these giant sea creatures don’t have a language, and they might not be out to kill us on purpose. But if they don’t live on the land, that would qualify them to be extra terrestrials, right? Doesn’t the word terrestrials have something to do with land? Where’s that executive assistant when you need him. Is it so hard to believe that I have an executive assistant? Times are tough, and he lets me pay in sexual favors. Win win!

Anywho, I never thought I’d see the day when I would be too lazy to give something a Wikipedia search, but that day has come. I’m failing at this metaphor… or is it a simile? I’m just going to pretend that it’s that day when we were all protesting that SOPA thing. Sorry guys, Wikipedia is down. Hey, this post might be filled with metaphor fails, but it’s definitely filled with stupid-lazy wins!

How do you feel about these giant creatures of the deep? Kill them all? I’m with you. I think it would only take a few nukes. We’ve got plenty of those to spare. 

Quimby's: Stuff like this happens there... Should we just call it the winner?

Hola Geeks!

When you’re staying in a new place, even if it’s for a short amount of time, it’s always fun to get in on the great comic book store debate. If a town/city/village or burrough has more than two comic book stores, there are undoubtedly established camps over which one is better, and you’re going to have to chose sides. It’s best to choose wisely, since it’s hard to make the switch after you’ve set roots in the comic book store of your choice.

My first trip up to Chicago when I moved back to Illinois,  landed me at the legendary comic book store, Quimby’s, quite by accident. I met a lovely Chicago graphic artist who brought me along to a Q&A with the author and artist Craig Thomson. Thomson is best known for Blankets but has recently gained acclaim for the massive tome Habibi. He drew a packed house (it was a tiny house at that) and it was amazing to get to get to see him in such an intimate venue. It was a huge point in the Quimby’s column.

The shop may have seemed a bit small at the time,  but it was packed to the gills with a crazy awesome selection of zines, vegan cookbooks (awesome if you like to tweak recipes for your vegan recipe blog… holla!), and hella graphic novels and comics. They’ve got a ton of local works for sale and the staff seemed super friendly. Aside from the usual fanfare, Quimby’s features a great novelty gift and greeting card selection. Their collection is so diverse and niche-y that I’ll be hard pressed to find another comic book store with so much interesting stuff to chose from. If you don’t think you’re into comics… Well, frankly, I’m not sure why you’re looking at a geek blog. At any rate, they’ve got a good selection of book books and art books as well.

And the piez-de-resistance (or something else that’s spelled correctly in French)… They’ve got a functioning black and white photo booth in the back.

Are you sold?

Have you picked sides on the great Chicago comic book war? What store should I check out next?

“Damn punk kids! Get off of my lawn!” -You in 40 years

or

“The universe is a mysterious thing, full of wonder and beauty.” -You in 40 years if you turn off the Kardashians and take a look at this amazing universe.

Because we don’t want to get old and gray and get all jaded and cranky, we’re going to try to get outside of ourselves and immerse our brains in something amazing. In order to avoid that whole cold and heartless nerd defeating you at WOW, we’re going to start a mind expanding series here on Weekly Geekly.

Woah. Woah. Not so fast there, hippie. I don’t want you to even think about my chakras, or prana, or the state of my consciousness.  You don’t know me. For all you know, I’m a straight laced pharmacy tech. Take that homeopathy!

Instead of finding our spirit animal or connecting to mother earth, we’re going to go the nerd route. The geeky go to for being amazed? Well, space of course. If there’s anything that can warm a nerd’s little cold and BSG filled heart, it’s a time lapse video taken from a space station.

Why? Because it’s touching, but it’s not too warm and fuzzy. You can watch videos like this one and say it’s in the name of science and observation. It’s an intellectual endeavor, sure, but it’s one that can lead to obtaining that humility that we nerds have a hard time finding sometimes. Yes, I agree that you’re smarter than most of the humans. Me too! Let’s be geek friends!

Now that we’re bros besties pals… well, now that we agree that we’re both smarter than most people, let’s take on a special project. Let’s find cool stuff about space to share with each other. This time lapse video is my first offering to you.

Do you have anything spacey that will blow my mind?

That title is super professional and all, because that’s what I aim to bring you here at the Weekly Geekly… High class journalism with flair. Minus the journalism and the flair, with a little added debauchery and duchebaggery.

It’s as if we haven’t effed up the world enough by doing everything we can to play god and one up nature. It is as if. As if.

That was a throwback to the 90′s hit Clueless and the word throwback is the segue to our next point. These lab coat wearing picnic haters scientists, are doing a throwback to ancient ants by doping regular ants up with hormones that play on old genetic markers… You know what, eff this. They’re huge. That’s all you need to know. Because, let’s be honest, if I tell you any more, you’re going to think “well that sounds sciency and cool.” And that’s exactly what they want you to think. They want to say sciency things and make you believe that everything they’re doing is legit (is using the word sciency twice, and eff three times, in one blog post too journalistic?). They say stuff like…

Authors Dr Rajendhran Rajakumar, from McGill University [not to be confused with University of Phoenix], Canada, and colleagues wrote: ‘We uncovered an ancestral development potential to produce a novel supersoldier subcaste that has been retained throughout a hyperdiverse ant genus that evolved 35 to 60 million years ago.’
The results suggest that holding on to ancestral development toolkits may play an important role in evolving new physical traits, say the researchers. [via. Daily Mail]

to keep you from thinking, “Holy sh*t! Scientists are making giant ants with giant friggin’ pincers that will one day take over the world!”  Because why else would they possibly do such a thing. What is the point of making giant ants? Explain this to me, please Dr. Raj Raj.

What do you think about these insect beasts? 

Is it the minutes, hours, days, weeks months,or  space between us and the edge of the universe? Is it when the sun comes up, the sun goes down, the moon comes out and people dance all around? Is it relative to our thoughts? Can I make time my b*tch? Does it even exist? Eff. Who cares? All I know is that it’s not organized correctly. How many times have I thought, “Dome on! I don’t want to buy a new kittens in pajamas calendar every. damn. year!” Also, I’m tired of asking people what date it is, and when they respond with the word day, I have to say, “No, the number day.” Because that sounds so stupid.

Enter two guys who think we can do better than the Gregorian calendar. They’ve devised a new way to organize time in a more orderly fashion. The same dates would fall on the same days every year, and the months would all have thirty days and other ones would only have thirty and we’d skip the leap… yeah, it doesn’t matter. It’s not going to happen.

This is America, John Hopkins University Professors. We’re still bucking the metric system. That’s just because we don’t want to measure our flour in pints (that’s metric, right?). You want to change time? The fabric of existence? Riiiiight.

The best part? The comments section of the article on CNN is filled with folks saying the Docs ripped someone else off, or that they had the idea first.

Professors Henry and Hanke’s calendar is an almost direct copy of a calendar created years ago by University of Toronto professor Irv Bromberg, Symetry010. His previous effort at a calendar was similar, but this one differs only on which months are 31 days, and in that it starts on a Saturday rather than a Sunday. Just thought the world should know.

Rip off cough! That was me coughing the  phrase ‘rip off’. How are you supposed to write that? Anywho, these guys stole an idea that will never come into action. Should have stuck with the plan to steal secrets from the sex doll industry. That would really help people.

Hope you’re having a happy new year! May it be filled with 28 day months and 31 day months and leaps!